


Blue

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Hospital, Jisung moves to his room, M/M, Mentions of Death, chenji rise, chenle is in hospital, chensung rise, kinda sad in the beginning, mentions of being sick, nurses and doctors, um they talk a little i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 19:45:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20801951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: chenle is in hospital and tired of feeling sad and sorry for himself. things start to change when another patient, park Jisung moves into the room with him





	Blue

**Author's Note:**

> pls if this is trash im sorry

why blue?

that’s all chenle could think of lying in his uncomfortable, overused bed. 

blue. 

it wasn’t a pretty blue. more like a specific blue that had been painted once on the wall. and when repainting it the artist couldn’t find the exact shade. it was mixture of blue

light blue on good days.

dark blue on bad days.

blue everyday.

the blonde haired boy tried his best not to feel that way but what could he do. he was blue. 

sad.

and to be completely honest he was tired. he was tired of feeling completely and utterly hopeless. tired of wondering if today was his last. tired of wishing to get out of this god forsaken hospital.

god he was so tired.

perhaps it would’ve been more bearable if he wasn’t so alone. 

he was used to all the hospital bullshit. moving in and out of rooms. surgery’s today, tomorrow, one planned in two weeks. he was used to it. all his life he’s been doing it.

maybe that’s why he so alone. all his life he was sick. he never had the chance to make friendships or relationships. nobody wants to be friends with a sick kid. and a sick kid doesn’t want to make friends.

at least chenle doesn’t.

the other day he got moved to a new room.

exciting right?

no. 

he hated it. he hated the fact that his body was so messed up people had to keep moving him around. like he’s some sort of object. 

in way he sort of was.

he was like a parcel taped up so much the owners of it were too afraid to take the tape off. afraid to damage it. so they just left it. moving it from place to place not forgetting to stick a sign saying fragile each time.

each time he was getting more and more fragile. one second away from breaking apart. 

the room was spacious. a bit too bright but it’s not like he could anything about that. next to his bed was little desk and around him a was a curtain. for privacy they said

your own space.

a space where people checked up on you every three hours and a nurse coming every half hour to check if your still breathing.

very private.

but that wasn’t even the best part. outside of the chinese boy’s curtain was a bunch of other private spaces just like his. except they were for other people. and not just anyone,

babies.

he was stuck in room with a bunch of babies.

imagine being so messed up you need the same intensive care as babies did. imagine being so sick doctors didn’t trust you enough to leave you in room alone so they stick in you in room with babies because they claim this is the best for you.

perhaps it would’ve been more bearable if the cries coming from them wouldn’t keep him awake all night. perhaps it would’ve been more bearable if the cries were regular cries. but they weren’t. they were cries of pain

babies crying because they are in pain.

sometimes chenle felt like joining them but he never did. instead he would rather stare at the ugly blue walls and keep his despair bottled up.

besides if he let it all out it’s not like anyone could do anything about it.

___

“there’s a new boy moving into this room.” a nurse informed chenle.

“let me guess, another seven year old?” it’s not like chenle has something against seven year olds. but the more you’re around them the more you worry for you own mental state. and chenle just about had enough of these kids.

“actually seventeen.” the nurse corrected

“ok.” the boy replied with absolutely no life.

“forgive me for saying this, but shouldn’t you be more happy knowing a boy your age is coming?” the nurse questioned

“wait did you say seventeen?” chenle said finally realising

the nurse nodded eagerly, too eagerly. she was trying too hard. just like all the nurses.

her smile was too wide and her eyes gave her away, she looked nice but chenle couldn’t help but wonder if she actually cared. probably not.

the boy sighed, hearing the news wasn’t particularly interesting to him. yes people of his own age having the same treatment as him was uncommon but he just couldn’t find it in himself to care. was it that interesting? really?

“that’s cool.” he stopped paying attention to whatever the nurse decided to say next and busied himself with books. 

he tried to focus on the words on his page. the writing in front of him seemed like gibberish to him. the page was blank, it was like he reading nothing. not a word made sense and the boy had to read the same paragraph over again and over again. however despite his efforts nothing got through to him.

maybe he did care.

raising his hopes is something he promised to himself he'll never do, yet he still couldn't hope that the boy arriving would be good company. 

it gets lonley sometimes and the next time chenle had to talk to a little kid about their favourite shapes he was sure he would lose it. 

the reasons as to why triangles were better than squares didn't really seem, what you would call, fun.

___

"and you'll be sleeping here, next to chenle." 

the voices of the doctors could be heard from outside of chenle's "room" and from what he could infer he was pretty sure the new boy came.

dread filled his body. next to him, the boy was right next him. the only thing separating the two was a thin curtain. his whole body was frozen, he couldn't move. he didn't want to move.

it's not he had to greet him right?

maybe he could stay like this forever. hidden from the people. never having to make conversation and forever having his own space.

he wanted to be swallowed up by the darkness. maybe then he'll finally be alone. he'll never have to meet new people, he'll never be sick. yeah that sounded real good to chenle right about now.

unfortunately his wishes were not heard and his hopes were crushed. literally stomped on. 

before he even had the chance to do a thing the curtain in front of him was swooshed open.

in front him were some nurses, standing straight with their forced smiles nodding to the boy next to him.

“chenle this is jisung and jisung this is chenle.” the nurse didn’t even wait a second for chenle to say anything before introducing the two. it was apparent that she was desperate for the two to become friends, probably getting tired of chenle whines and groans.

chenle got over himself and sat himself up properly on the bed to have a proper look at the boy.

he didn’t know what he was expecting, maybe a small kid who somehow passed for a seventeen year old. but no. the boy next to him was full of life. he was a wearing a huge smile and his eyes were wide and questioning. he had brownish pink hair which he probably dyed recently and wasn’t wearing the hospital clothes like most patients do. 

although the boy was laying down it was clear that he was tall. his legs took up a lot space even when he was sitting up straight. he looked right into chenle’s eyes without saying a word.

chenle’s breath caught up with him and he suddenly felt the need to start taking deep breaths. the boy was looking at him weird and for once he couldn’t understand why.

was it pity?

after a couple moments of awkward silence the nurse left claiming she would leave the two to “catch up”. it’s not like they were friends before, what was there to catch up on?

chenle awkwardly fiddled with his hands and looked away from the boy. however no matter how hard he tried, he could still feel his blaring gaze on him. he huffed and managed to cluster up some courage and turned to the boy once again.

“stop looking at me like that.” he said harshly 

“like what?” the boy questioned with a deep tone, immediately making chenle flustered.

“like you feel sorry for me or something.” he replied quickly.

the boy laughed. he actually laughed. and it wasn’t just a small giggle, it was a full on, tears forming, laugh.

chenle watched the boy confused. it’s not like he said anything exceptionally funny, so he just couldn’t understand why the boy was making a huge fit.

“sorry, sorry. it's just that you said i feel pity for you.” the boy said after he calmed down, 

chenle gave him a look.

“please, the only person i feel sorry for here is myself.” 

“oh.” chenle said embarrassed. he took a look at the boy and wondered why he would feel sorry for himself. he didn't look that bad.

“you can’t be too bad.” chenle stated. 

“it is.” the boy replied.

chenle looked away from him suddenly uncomfortable. “same.” he muttered.

suddenly one of the babies from across the room started crying out. chenle turned to jisung and he saw a look of discomfort and sadness pass over his face. 

“you learn to drown it out after a while.” he told him.

the younger was shocked at this “damn that’s brutal.”

chenle shrugged. “you get used to it somehow.” 

jisung nodded fixing his gaze on chenle. “are you used to it?” 

chenle was quiet for a moment before he answered “no, not really.”

jisung gave him a small shrug and looked around the room before deciding it was chenle he would rather look at. 

“i could die tomorrow.” he blurted out.

“so can i.” chenle said without a hint of sympathy.

the two looked at each other before the younger gave him a smirk. “last one alive?”

“that’s fucked up but sure.” 

chenle smiles at him. for the first time in such a long he gave a genuine smile. 

he couldn’t understand as to why he suddenly felt happy. it’s not like his situations were good enough. maybe it’s because of jisung. 

he was like a bright light symbolising everything good in the world. perhaps everything was getting better. 

chenle looked at the wall in front of him and realised something.

it was like weird green. all this time he was seeing blue but if you looked at properly it could pass for green. 

weird green walls


End file.
